In the Moment ~ Poetry

In the Moment

The air is thick, painted with heavy sighs.
Grasping at straws, no longer with ties.
She sits there waiting.
Darkness, no sunrise.
The air is thick, suffocating with cries.

Moments pass and the next train draws in.
Her carriage awaits, bound by sin.
She sits inside waiting.
Darkness, all cooped in.
Moments pass, left to rot in a meat tin.

Destined for doom, they say.
All she felt was pain, night and day.
She sits in the cold waiting.
An owl girl with feathers that fray.
Destined for doom, too wise to obey.

Wishing her luck would change,
Cawing and flapping, so estranged.
She sits outside waiting,
But there’s no perfect exchange.

They meet. They talk. They part.
Once lovers, now perfect strangers.
She leaves, never looks back,
And silently lets go of her heart.

~ Silver

Posted on November 28, 2016, in Life, Writing and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. Woah… You excel at everything you write! That was absolutely astounding! Beautiful and sad. I loved the way you made it rhyme and fitted to “waiting” in every verse. I am trying to process it all, it is all so deep and very well written.

    Quite the emotional roller coaster that poor woman was going through. I really do not hope they reflect your feelings in this particular moment?

    • Thank you! I have had inspiration from a considerable rough patch recently. But the good news is I am moving on and letting go.

      Poetry has always been a sort of outlet for me when moments like these happen. I’m a very guarded person with my heart, so it takes time to heal those wounds. And this is part of the healing process for me.

      I’m glad you enjoyed it. 🙂

      • And I’m glad you’re feeling better.
        When I read the poetry I started worrying about you. The pain you wrote about there were real and intense.

        Guarding your heart sounds like a full time job, because you must have a big one. What you shared with us here was really something from deep within, and must have taken you a lot of courage to do it.

        I know you do not need my comfort, but you probably have learned a lot of what you have been through, and it will make you stronger 🙂

      • Oops. Didn’t reply to your comment properly. 😦 silly blog. You can find my proper reply below. 🙂

  2. Thanks, Kristian, your words mean a lot to me. 🙂 And bless you for worrying about me. To be honest, I sort of worried myself a good few weeks back. I was in a really dark place then – not sleeping, eating, crying. I couldn’t stomach anything. The only thing that kept me going in those bleak moments was my work.

    Then last night, a month after everything happened, I wrote “In the Moment”. All that I felt in those moments are laid bare in the poem. I would not have been able to write that a month ago; I could barely even function. Have you ever been just sort of existing? Well, that’s what I was doing. And then a week ago today I got up and finally felt warmth in my body again. Relief that everything was done and that I could let go. Now I’m healing. This particular person who gave me inspiration to write this, they will likely never read it. But that’s okay. I’ve written it for me and for my own healing, no one else’s.

  3. I’ve been there once. Only existing. It’s like nothing matters – not even yourself. I was once looking out over a view one night. I had to argue with myself why I should not jump, but luckily I decided to just watch the view.

    Sometimes are things hard – too hard. Life suddenly change a way you did not expect. You just need someone special to be there, hug you, tell you that everything is to be alright – but that special someone is not there. It is easy to feel lost in despair when you lose someone and it is never easy.

    You are strong, Colette. You pulled through a horrible period of your life and you are back stronger than ever! You did write that poem for yourself and you did so beautifully. You do not need no other to read it. It is a monument of your recovery and a beacon of your strength! Everyone that is not in your company are loosing out of something special.

    I am on hardcore painkillers at the moment so I do hope my writing does make any sense. Please excuse my bad grammar. I do write better in Norwegian. I promise!! 😛
    You remembered my name? That made my day 😀
    Ps. I will read your SMM 3DS review tomorrow^^

    • I’m glad you did decide just to watch the view. I’ve been in the pit of depression myself and had those thoughts. It’s hard to get through, but with a brilliant support network around us, we do.
      Everything you said, it’s so true. I have some very special and incredible people in my life and without them, I’d certainly be lost. I may have lost someone quite special to me, but for the moment I’m quite content to make that special person me for a little while. I’ve always been a lone soul – and when I threw myself feet first into something, well I sort of lost my “lone soul”.
      Thank you ever so much for your comments, they are beautiful!
      Also, painkillers? Oh goodness, make sure you get yourself better. It’s not too serious is it? 😦 And of course I remembered your name! I don’t forget easily. 🙂
      P.S Hope you enjoyed SMM review.

      • The good thing of being a lone wolf is that you are building a stronger character of yourself. You do not depend as much on others than extroverts does. And that makes you the strong person you are 🙂

        It is I who should thank you for your fabulous writing. It gives me joy and entertainment in life 🙂

        I have been sick since August. At the moment the doctors do not know the degree of the seriousness of the problem. Hopefully I will just heal myself 🙂 Just feeling drugged and have a hard time walking and sitting 😛 Lol sounds terrible the way I tells it here 😛 I’m fine more or less 😛

        Loved your review of SMM. It is clearly that you knows your stuff; both in game and in your writing skills. You are the perfect fit for that job 🙂

      • Oh! *blushes* Your comments about my writing, they certainly make me smile. All I’ve ever wanted to do is make people smile, smirk, and laugh a little when they read my words. Heck, if people are still reading by the end of paragraph one these days, I call it a win.

        So, for you to say that my writing gives you joy? Well, that really does make my day. Being able to share my love and passion with you and the rest of the MNN readers is something I enjoy so much. It’s lovely to know that after all this time that there are still the regulars that read my work. People like you. 🙂

        Also, many thanks for your comments on SMM. Personally I wasn’t a fan of the game, but I always try to separate the bias personal views from the critical ones when writing a review. There’s always an element of opinion, but I try to focus on the mechanics and the feel rather than my own opinions.

        So your health. Big issue. 😦 That sounds truly horrible. I can’t begin to understand what it is you may have or the pain you are going through, but all I can say is that I do understand the not knowing. For the best part of 5 years, maybe longer, I’ve been low in B12 vitamin. They only recently found that out three months ago when I fainted about four or five times in the space of a week. But I’d always had low blood pressure, so it wasn’t out of the ordinary for me to faint. Now I’m on injections every 12 weeks, for life. I hate injections, but I’m relieved to know the cause of it finally, and that I can get treated.

        So in a long-winded way, I do understand that period of uncertainty. It sucks. But you will get through it. And if you ever need someone outside your bubble to talk to about it, I’ll always find time to lend an ear (or my eyes in this case). 🙂 We can both be strong! And we are both very awesome people. Chin up. 🙂

      • Well, you deserve all the credit you can get. You are very talented, Colette. MNN are lucky to have you, and people are blessed for having the opportunity to read such high level writing.

        In Norway we do say “Objektivt” when people are writing non-personal and neutral. I do not know if “You’re writing objectively” does make any sense, but yeah. I like your descriptions of games. Not polluted with hate nor fangirlism (no, that’s not a Norwegian word). You hit the nail on the head every time, and that is why I already know I am going to like a game, even before I have picked it up, when you have recommended it 🙂

        Yeah, I know how you feel about people not reading to the end. We had the same problem where I used to write. We have a YouTube-channel nowadays where we put in easter eggs at the end of the film. That way we can tell who is really watching our videos 😛 But I hope you can find comfort in the fact that I cannot stop reading until the very end when you are the author behind it:) Looove your work!

        5 times a week? Poor you! (That’s what you say right? People would be offended if you said that in Norway xD). How did it take at least 5 years?! I thought the British health care was one of the better. At least that was my perception of it after spending my vacation/birthday at St. Mary’s Hospital in London last summer… ehm… BACK TO YOU!
        I really feel sorry for you for having to take injections, I really do. Rest of your life sounded a bit extreme? Could you not take pills or something when your B12-leves normalised? 😦 I hope you do not faint as much anymore!
        Thank you for relating 🙂 I know I am strong! I can bench press 105kg (Yeah! I got to brag about it!) Sorry 😛 My attempt at bad humour. Or dry humour as we say in Norway. I know you did not mean physical strength 😛
        So… you will lend me an ear? Careful there; I might take you up on that offer 😛 But the same goes for you, Colette 🙂 I would be more than happy to be here (in front of the keyboard for now I guess) for you if you need a viking to talk to 🙂 Thank you for caring!
        Indeed we are awesome people 😉

      • Haha, our comments to each other are long! But I don’t mind. 🙂
        Easter Eggs in your videos at the end? That’s such a neat idea. Most young people have a very small attention span (myself included sometimes) and we get distracted by our phones far too often. I think if your video is engaging enough or the content your are talking about is interesting to that person, they will continue to watch. I’m a big fan of a couple of YouTubers and regularly go to conventions just to have a good laugh. There are so many different people at these conventions too, so it’s amazing to meet others who you may not usually associate with.
        The NHS is under tight constraints at the moment. The budget keeps getting cut, there are shortages of staff, and doctors / nurses are working long hours. There have been countless strikes from our junior doctors over here about working long hours with very little pay. Our free healthcare system is, sadly, hanging by a thin thread. And this whole Brexit thing just made it worse – a spread of propaganda by the leave party left the NHS out in the cold and underfunded. Without getting too political, I was firmly on the remain side. As for young people, staying in Europe was a great option for us. But ugh, that aside…
        Yeah, apparently the injections are for the rest of my life. The low B12 I have coupled with anaemia means I need the B12 injections to stop myself from feeling dizzy and fainting all the time. So it’s either that, or take the injection. And I don’t want to be as unwell as I have been over these past couple of years. They do come in tablet form but unfortunately my B12 was far too low to allow me to take the tablets. They wouldn’t have done anything. 😦

        Ha! Wow, that’s quite a bench press you’re doing there. 😛 Good work though. I like to run and swim, more of less every weekend. It’s good to keep fit and remain as healthy as we possibly can.

        I do hope you are feeling better with the medication. And I hope they figure out what’s going on with your body. And yes, always happy to lend an ear! And thank you for the same offer.

      • We got some seriously long answers to each other xD

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